Archive for May, 2007

THE hyperconscious iNdiAn PaRenTS

beta , aage ke baare main kya socha hai ? MBA ya MS ? Sharmaji ke ladke ka Infometrix main placement hua hai , 5.87 ka package hai .

This is the saga of the majority of the Indian families , where kids are supposed to excel in TERMS OF THE PACKAGE . Thanks to the IT boom and immense jobs soaring in other fields as well. But the essence of the time is to realize what you are interested in and what you aspire for life , instead of running after fatter pays and glamorous beginnings . Which most of the students fail to understand.

The ” cOnSTiTuTiOn ” of B.Tech


PREAMBLE

Motto: “Akal badi ki bhains : Bhains”

We take the oath to produce as many ENGINEERS as we can , with an higher end CGPA ( max =10.0 ) , it really doesn’t matters the amount of knowledge and concept that they develop during their tenure of four years. As its a process of “minimum input and maximum output“, after all , we are manufacturing FODDER to FEED the BUFFALOES. Therefore , quantity is what that matters . As “Akal badi ki bhains …. ans. Bhains(Buffalo)[WHICH IS MORE BIG , BRAIN POWER OR BUFFALO : BUFFALO] “.

ESSENTIAL FEATURES

–> Increase in marks after distribution of copies is highly encouraged , provided you have the capibilties like influencing by flattering or you belong to same creed of the faculty or if you are a girl .

–> Dont dare to understand the concept or the underlying logic , as it may hinder the correction process. It is highly expected from you to cram each and every word released during the classroom lecture .
eg. 1+1 =2 may also seek relevance , if it was told in the class. It should not be taken as obvious .

–> Teacher is always right , dont try to prove Newton’s laws of motion .

–> The exact grammar along with punctuation marks as stated in the textbook is to be repdroced , failing to abide by the same may attract reduction in marks.

–> The threshold is determined solely by the quantity . Your marks will be alloted with respect to the answer sheet amounting to the maximum number of pages. It doesnt matters whether that is relevant w.r.t the question.But since someone has mentioned , you are also expected to do the same.

–> The standards of the paper shall be determined by the weakest student , as the aim is to bring him/her to the top , no one will speak the word COMPETITION.

–> Please do not challenge the capability of the faculty , he/she is new in this area , ready to slaughter
your future , its a pure learning process , your faculty is also learning from you.

–> You are expected to know everything , because after completion of the course you enter a new world ,
a new beginning where you shall not be using the CRAP which you learnt during the four years. Therfore keep yourself flexible and capricious .

AMENDMENTS

–> Dear engineers , Maths doesnt holds any relevance , we think of discarding it .

–> The problems discussed in class only shall be asked in the exams . And do refer only the faculty’s xerox . No need to read the sub standard textbooks. You are not some engineers.

THE VIEWS AND OPINIONS EXPRESSED HERE ARE SOLEY BASED ON WRITER’S EXPERIENCE AND MAY NOT MATCH WITH YOURS . IN THAT SITUATION PLEASE DO NOT APPLY YOUR BRAIN AND SIMPLY FORGET IT . ELSE , YOUR SUGGESTIONS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME.

classroom ” googly “

The english class is in its full flashed oral test session . The faculty miss Deshpande was firing questions on the students related to some Shakespearen literature . Mohan , the timid and shy fellow was next on the hit list .

Miss Deshpande : What does Mr. Shakespear wants to convey in his writing Mcbeth?

Mohan : [whispering] hmm…. pardon mam .

Miss Deshpande : [irritated] Are you deaf ? What does mr Shakespear wants to convey in his writing Mcbeth?

Mohan : [whispering , not audible] hmm….aa…

Miss Deshpande: [higly irritated] …. Zor se bolo [Speak loudly].

A sound from the backbench : Jai Mata Di … [ praising the Indian goddess Durga ].

[ The whole class bursts into laughter and Mohan made an escape as time got over the bell rang off ]